My poor mama is still waiting to hear what the doctor thinks about this cancer business.  Because the scans the doctor needed could not be done all on the same day, but four days apart, records were also sent four days apart.  Which means half of our material missed their weekly meeting times.  I was being gracious when I said last week that hopefully by Tuesday, as in today, we would have an answer.  I think God took it as an invitation to strengthen my patience.

And, the answer we’re waiting for isn’t even an answer.  It’s just the next step.

This is chronic cancer.

You brace yourself repeatedly with one foot ready to adjust and move forward with the next treatment step, while the other foot is still trying to keep things stable where you are in case the news isn’t what you want.  As the deadline to the mini-surgery approaches, it is seriously scheduled for Friday in San Diego, and we don’t even know if she is eligible, or the if the cancer is too far advanced, there is certainly a heightened sense of stress and tension.

Trying to choose peace.

Wanting to relax and rest in Him.

Super hard for me.

My brain is mostly a mess.  My home is 68.7% mess.  The flower shop is 65% mess.  Easter has arrived in the store and fragrant lilies are taking up lots of space.  Not knowing whether or not I will be there this weekend also weighs on me heavy.   How do you prepare a flower shop for the florist to be gone?  That’s a good pickle you got yourself in, Dana.  Not enough time or finances to train someone.  I have surrendered to doing my best.  My mama will come first, that is my choice.  I believe God will honor that and protect the rest.  Dude, that sounds so good in theory.  Application is the bugger.

As we wait to hear the results, please pray.  Pray for us to respond to the doctor’s decision with ease and grace.  Pray for us to be patient.  Pray for my mom as she deals with so much hard uncertainty, once again.  Pray for healing and hope.  Amen.